Sunday, May 28, 2017

Take Me At My Worst And You Will Deserve My Best

There is a part in the Bible where it is said to entertain strangers because it may not be a stranger, but an angel. Which, an angel I am not. However, it also says "Remember the prisoners as if chained with them, those who are mistreated, since you yourselves are in the body also."(Hebrews 13:2-3 NKJV)

Even if you are not Christian this applies to you under moral ground. We as LGBT people are bound together whether we like, agree with, or not. We have a common thread that binds us together. 

We all experience the same trials. Albeit in different contexts and values, but the trauma inflicted makes us all feel the same way, hurt. 

I know it is hard to support a person who has done something terrible. An angry and contentious society wants to isolate and forget those who transgress moral boundaries. I get it. However, I do NOT agree with it. 

Once a person sees the light, so to speak, where are they to go when they are capable of flourishing? Rehabilitation and correction, what about that? Those words exist because they are possible. Once a person does something it is possible to rehabilitate and/or correct them should they want it. 

The title of this blog says to take me at my worst and you will deserve my best. I believe that. I was listening to a song and that is a lyric within it that resonated with me deeply. (Machine Gun Kelly ft. Hailee Steinfeld)

I am asking for people to give me an opportunity. A chance at life. I cannot prove rehabilitation unless I am given the opportunity. I was at my worst six years ago. Suicidal, angry, lost, bitter, without hope, and selfish.

The man I am today is drastically different. Now I see life more abundantly. I have a future, hope. I love life and appreciate it. I am excited to live and be me, finally. 

My plea is this, I know how hard it is to look at a guy like me and want to listen, I am not without understanding. However, I promise to give you my best if you do. I have so much to offer.

This goal of ending victimization and my other goal of full LGBT equality are reasonable, lofty, but reasonable. I do not have every answer. But I have at least one. I aim to try it and it is going to work, do you know why? Because I am great at taking the impossible and making it work. 

I want help planning it, finding flaws, and figuring out what can be done right now. I want an education so I am fighting for that, prisons no longer offer them because society felt we didn't deserve them, even though its proven to lower our recidivism rates by over 30%. So I study on my own. I order college text books through any means available and study it thoroughly. I happen to be studying College Algebra at the moment, and I am doing well, btw. 

There is so much room for improvement in my life and I will not waste my second chance.

Just watch...

With Love
Jeff Utnage

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