Sunday, December 31, 2017

Public Whipping Versus Long Term Confinement

Before I came to prison I thought of prison as corrective. Everyone knows prison is violent and dehumanizing. Yet, it doesn't deter crime. Either the public is being lied to about rehabilitation or the public has a desensitization to incarcerated lives.

By public punishment I mean public whippings. By long term confinement I mean prison cells for long periods as in half a decade or more. However, confinement is also qualified as mental institutions and group homes, to name a few.

I've often thought of deterrence based principles, what it means and what it might look like. What if I could have chosen 20 lashes with a bullwhip on live TV for the whole world to watch while my crimes are displayed in shame.

Funny how that's inhumane, even though I would have chosen that instead. What's inhumane is that someone would have to watch. The inhumane part, in this context, is not the whipping or brutality of long term rigid confinement, its having to watch it. Comparatively speaking about incarceration versus whipping as punishment, deterrence, and victim retribution then incarceration lasts for years, costs $30,000/yearly national average and still produces a 67% ineffectiveness. 

This conversation needs to be had. Not because I'm a proponent of public beatings but because the system is inhumane. Because I am not in your line of sight I am allowed to be inhumanely incarcerated for years having to beg for the "treatment" that is court ordered. Treatment that the provider says I do not qualify for because I am at such a low risk to re offend. Imprisonment that will last for more than a decade and is accompanied by emotional, mental, and psychological brutality. Brutality that is acceptable because its not visible.

I'd rather have scars, I'd rather everyone watch. I'd rather an expert bullwhip slash my back open 20 times and nearly bleed to death while going into shock than endure one more day of some militant, unionized, state employee be allowed to call me or someone else a retard for not tucking in my shirt or wearing a hat indoors.

Get involved in incarceration, demand transparency. 

With Love

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Why So Many Mission Statements Remain Unaccomplished: A Brief Explanation

I see a problem. It's in the Mission Statement of an organization. It is the purpose of their existence. But, does it actually get accomplished? If it never gets accomplished, who's fault is that? We could pin it on society, leadership, the "cause," money...but it really boils down to a missing step on the organizations part. 

I recently learned a term coined "helicoptering." Its where a leader takes their board and management team up high enough to see the big picture. As activists we get so wrapped up in this tiny lane of injustice that we forget about humanity, inclusion, socializing, and others self-interest. But, as leaders we must have the wherewithal to take our constituents to higher ground so they can see the totality of a situation.

When a Mission Statement only gets partially accomplished, its not a failure. It is only problematic because the longer a mission goes unaccomplished, the harder it becomes to keep constituents. Its a time to readjust, perhaps stay the course, or seek advice. 

For example: the LGBT community has a real problem. We have lesbians, gays, platinum gays, golden gays, silver gays, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, poly sexual, transgendered, gender non conforming, gender queer, gender fluid, queer, questioning...did I miss anyone? We are divided. We invent some new term to further divide, like platinum gay (whoever invented this ought to be ashamed of themselves) and this creates fissures that nobody understands how to navigate. Its like this in every community though. Every community has class ism and elitism. 

So here is my conclusion. Take a good hard look at your goals, which should be referenced in your Mission Statement, and then take you and your team to higher ground, do an environmental scan and identify the stakeholders you have forgotten about. Then include them in the process of planning, accept their different point of view, which is of high value, and reformulate a plan if necessary. But work, always seeking new information. That is the key folks.

I have lots of information and ideas for anti violence, victimization elimination, racism elimination, equality etc. I want to help...

Feel free to contact me at

Jeff Utnage 823469 D-610-2
P.O. Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272

Or you can use the state approved email service, which you must sign up for, but, its way faster and ultimately the electronic stamps cost less than postage for both of us. I will reply to either though. You will need to add yourself to my contacts once your registered using my info:
Name: Jeff Utnage and Inmate ID: 823469

With Love

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

One Person A Day: A Challenge To All North American Occupants

Here's the challenge, in simple terms. There are 365 days in a year. Every day you must find a random person, someone you do NOT know and ask them about themselves, their culture, their views. Get to know them and then document in a vlog or journal your experience. 

1) You cannot correct their thoughts. This is about them, not you. You are getting to know them.
2) No judgments. If you don't know what judgment means, perhaps you should contact me. That reservation you feel right now as you think about it, that's called judgment.
3) They must be unknown to you
4) One person a day only. This is so you spend a full day thinking about them and what you have gained from them as a person. How have they enriched your life in that moment.
5) In your journal, blog, or vlog, you must name one thing specifically that you appreciate about that person.

That's the challenge. 

This started with me a few days ago, right here in prison. I spoke to an Ethiopian man who is almost entirely isolated. Its assumed he doesn't speak English because he's black, race plays a part as well. So in all my studious self righteousness and my fight for unity, I seen this man, sitting by himself. I learned the following:

1) Ethiopia has never been colonized
2) Class ism is severe in Ethiopia, either your rich or poor, no middle class
3) You must be Ethiopian to operate a business in Ethiopia, unless you become business partners
4) He believes that Americas best attribute is its a wonderful place to raise a child because of quality education, freedom of speech and thought, and relatively low violence in comparison to other countries. 
5) He believes Americas worst attribute is the unnamed, invisible separation of people. He said because we cannot and will not name what divides we will never get rid of it
6) Race is not cultural identity. Yeah...think about that. American is not a culture. Its a physical location. There once was a culture here, Indians, Natives. Our culture is derived from ancestry. Ancestry we should be proud of, not denouncing.

All of this wisdom from a man nobody speaks to, now I know why they aren't prepared for it.

I'll do my what I can to view your entries, but I am in prison so the updates will be by word of mouth unless you update me directly. When you post your findings, add the tag line "One person a day challenge" to the title so it can be searched.

With Love

Monday, December 18, 2017

Our Roles As Individuals Of This Country: Time To Rethink Tradition

I assume most Americans understand the concept of a government by the people for the people. I wonder how many people feel that their voices have been weighed in our countries decisions? It would seem we have elected dictators in four year increments. Just in case one dictator gets ousted, they have a worse option waiting in line.

So many people I talk to know that their vote matters. But those same people feel underrepresented, if at all. 

We as occupants of this land have a responsibility to ourselves and our children to take control of our lives again. We don't need to agree on everything. But surely we can agree that Democrats, Republicans, Liberals, Conservatives and so on do not represent majorities actual views. The majority of our countries political representatives were born from upper middle class and upper class homes. They don't know what its like to watch their parents do drugs, or to live with strangers, or to attend a school that has the problem of poverty. How can they represent us? They can't.

So long as we have racial, sexuality, and religious divisions among us we ignore the class division that has grown since 1776. 

We are not powerless as citizens. The same tactics used in prison systems is the same tactics used by our government to maintain our submission and cooperation. A few violently patrol many and the most violent get feared. This has been used for thousands of years for the few, the elite, to maintain power and control over the masses.

We don't need to agree on everything. Just one thing. Just one topic. Just one issue. We unite over one issue and deconstruct the entities that benefit from it, then move on to the next issue we can agree on. 

Our politicians will learn to respect our needs or they will be removed and their careers will be destroyed. Because we have that power. We as citizens have that ability. We don't need to accuse sexual deviance's to get them out, we are the majority vote. 

Demand your rightful position as a occupant of this land. 

Just think about this. No action, no taking to the streets in foolish rage or anger. Share this and let it ruminate, have this conversation with your peers.

This isn't an immigration or anti government or anarchist propaganda (no opinion on them either way) this is propaganda to get you to think about your role in life, in your life. If the candidates available don't represent you, demand new ones or run yourself. I'd rather have a convicted felon who's been through trials and tribulations and overcome in office then some silver spooned, bleeding heart who's never known poverty or discrimination...

Think about it, I beg you.

With Love

Friday, December 15, 2017

You Can Change The World

When we get crazy ideas that involve massive change or world peace people love to shoot it down. I've even seen them get angry over it. Wanting to fight you until you agree that peace isn't possible, ironic.

We hear "you can't" and "that's not possible" so much. Well, its possible. Its the doubters and the nay sayer's who are the dreamers. They are the delusional ones. While we are changing the world they are burying their heads demanding we do it with them.

Its possible. You CAN do it. The world is malleable, it is ever changing and ever evolving. 

Visionaries are rarely encouraged by the masses until they accomplish their goal. 

So while the world says you can't, go ahead and do it anyway. There is at least one person who believes in you, me.
With Love

Thursday, December 14, 2017

How I Plan To Make A Difference: What A Little Education Has Done!

Higher education is so important to inmate change. I knew I wanted to make changes somehow. This site has served as a way for me to show a documented thought process. I have evolved in views, understanding, and opinions and continue to do so. A part of the evolution of anything is trial and error. I have tried many ideas out on social change and education has begun to show me a more pointed pathway to follow. 

I intend to end victimization and here is how I plan to do it:
1) I'm going to start a non profit business that builds a coalition of community organizations that are all working violence reduction tactics from different angles and for different demographics. 
2) As a coalition we will design a comprehensive action plan for each organization to accomplish their primary goal and objective. 
3) The organization will research, analyze, and template prior successful social movements so that we can use our history to see what worked to effect change and why, then use that intelligence to end violence, racism, and human-caused victimization.
4) Our primary objective is to end victimization globally. However, I intend to start locally and small to build reputation and confidence from my constituency. As we log success and effectiveness our social following will grow and, with it our ability to mobilize the community into specific action.
5) We will solve the problem of how to include outsiders and seemingly different groups in a cohesive unit working toward a goal.

If this sounds a little "kum-by-ya-ish" to you then you need to pay attention because this is not only possible, its already happening in our prison system. I have direct experience in uniting diverse groups of all mental capacities, backgrounds, intended outcomes, and inclusion aspects. I am good at reaching people on a one on one level and can teach others how to do it. I have drive, I I have the skills, and I have the plan.

What I need to accomplish this:

I need a board of directors that includes some financial backing, deep roots into our communities, able to locate funding, social media communications director

just to name a few. I need a primary Board with the intent of building an extended board and as we grow into other locations secondary boards with autonomous control in their districts. 

I need help designing this. I will be using a proven structure that operates globally, the Catholic church is a proven model for effective global management of an immense amount of locations and people. While we aren't creating a religion we are seeking a reputable global presence that includes the populace with direct motivating incentives towards a common goal. 

What I need right now is constituents. I need someone who can assist in the planning process and begin creating an online presence and following. Best case scenario, this (these) person(s) could take our plan and mobilize the org. using me as a consultant until I release and can serve on the board legally.

What you get:
First, you'd be doing something to help people. Ending violence and victimization is a worthy cause. This methodology is getting the right intelligence to the right people and providing a proven structure for them. As each objective gets accomplished we would then absorb them into our organization. The structure we have can easily support them as an integrated division. 

Together we can make history, design our future, and influence our government. Its not just necessary, its entirely possible. 

Believe in me enough to contact me.

Jeff Utnage 823469 D-610-2
P.O. Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272

state approved email service for inmates 
register and add yourself to my contacts using my name: Jeff Utnage and/or Inmate ID: 823469

email is cheaper for prolonged communication but, its up to you. I'll write or call or email or all three. Your choice. 


Monday, December 11, 2017

Why Making Room For Alternative Constituents In Your Movement Is Vital

This is about inclusion of the larger population in your cause. So often we find our niche and then look for only people that fit into that profile. Like bisexual men creating a movement and only seeking other bisexual men as constituents. The problem with this thinking is there is no input from those who need to change. 

For instance, staying with the bisexual theme, let's say the point is to get full recognition from medical providers that bisexual men are at higher risks for some medical problem. Let's assume that gay men aren't supportive of this for whatever reason. So, the movement has two distinct targets, medical providers and gay men.

If the idea is to get them to change their perspectives and you only have bisexual men in your network, how then can you understand the mindsets of the opposition? Assumptions will not go over well and will not be effective for the outcome. So you must not only listen to them, but you must include them. 

Whatever the movement is, inclusion of diverse people is necessary to win the support of neutral constituents and understand the mentality of the opposition. When you fully understand the reasoning behind their actions of thoughts, then your diverse constituency base will be most useful in strategy development.

I'm not saying that if your a person of color equality activist to go to a white nationalist and include them on your board of directors. What I mean is, if your a black activist seeking equality, you cannot rule out the inclusion of white people. This stands for any cause, feminist, LGBT, Natives, immigration reform etc. 

Factor in ways for supporters to help. Some folks want to be apart of your cause because they believe in it. But they don't have to be you.

With Love

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Is America Ready For The End Of Victimization? An Opinion by a Prisoner

Legal clerks, analysts, judges, attorneys, news anchors, reporters, crime drama TV producers (don't forget the actors, writers, technicians, and media companies), writers of most genres, prison guards, correctional administration, prison based "non profits" (quotations used because the wages, bonuses, and gratuities paid to the upper admins of such places, like Correctional Industries, are no doubt not aimed at helping rehabilitate inmates), prison material and equipment suppliers, security and surveillance companies, drug manufacturers, and could go on and on. Let's not forget the most important one though, stock holders of these companies in the prison industry who have created a demand for people to be numbered and held to line their filthy pockets.

All of these professions listed, and a fraction of the exhaustive list, are at least partially dependent on someone being victimized. Television shows like Law and Order, CSI, Killer Couples, Snapped, Gangland and the broadcast companies who air them all profit off of someone else's victimization. 

Violence has been become an economic commodity that America is unknowingly dependent on for financial stability. Think about what would happen if all forms of violence suddenly ended. It wouldn't take long before massive law enforcement layoffs began and then attorneys would be without jobs shortly after except for a few to do basic civil actions like contract and will advice etc. Where would all those other people work? Prisons would begin to shut down with massive layoffs, lives would be ruined as loans became burdensome and unemployment payouts would cripple the government. All this is just the surface impact. 

Then there is the financial impact on our Municipal, State, and Federal government. All of whom are 100% dependent on criminal fines. Without that vast revenue supply our Government would go bankrupt and what happens when politicians run out of money? 

This is not a round about way of saying America needs people to be victimized and inmates should be somehow appreciated. What I'm saying is Americans need to begin considering how to eliminate this dependency. Without the victimization of one another our government will increase "crimes" against the entity of the government to maintain that revenue stream they need to operate this countries current system. 

Our government is suppose to be doing the best thing to increase our quality of life, the right to pursue happiness, and freedom and equality for all persons regardless of birthplace, race, gender, religious practises, or income level. Instead of investing in low-income areas and supplying desperately needed quality higher and even basic education they allow the area to devolve through the constriction of commerce, industrial employment, and community organization funding. Its no secret that uneducated, oppressed, poor societies will have an extremely difficult time navigating the complex hierarchical social system of the educated, free, rich areas. 

How can you possibly expect someone who has never had long term interaction with successful businesses and educated communities to be able to follow that model? Its utterly absurd to be that blind to this reality. 

My goal is to end victimization globally. I have been called stupid, told "its not possible," "Your wasting everyone's time, you can't change people" "People are born bad" "People choose to hurt others, they had a choice to be better, look at other people who have made it from the same neighborhood"

I've even had my own doubts. Doubts which I must confront each and every morning. Like how can expect to change the world when I'm a convicted sex offender? How can I be taken seriously as a leader, advocate, and activist of change when my only credentials are societal black eyes and 30+ years of terrible actions and whole communities damaged by my selfishness? 

Change is completely possible. I know for a fact it is. Its not an opinion but un-contestable fact that change occurs. Why then do we maintain the ridiculous notion that we are not in control of most of the change that occurs. Tell that to civil rights leaders or this countries original occupants. 

We must demand the complete end to victimization with a unified voice. Actors and broadcast companies must refuse to participate in the creation and re-creation of someone being victimized. Stockholders of companies who support the prison industry must stop investing and in the enslavement of humans through "criminalization" and we as citizens must become apart of one another's lives so that we can supply help to where its needed and feel comfortable accepting it. Because we all help or you hurt. There is no neutrality here. If you stay in your bubble and mind your own, your hurting us all, including yourself. 

"America" may not be ready for victimlessness. But Americans are. Without people, there is no America. People are hearts, Governments are nothing without heart. 

Beat your heart America and change will happen.

By Jeff

Friday, November 17, 2017

As LGBT We Must Be Active In Social Injustice and Inequality, Silence Is Failure and Agreement

As LGBT we have felt the sting of discrimination. Most of us firsthand and pointedly. Others as witnesses traumatized by the possibilities.

It is simply intolerable to be passive in situations where we can intervene. Let me give you an example.

I was attacked in a bathroom by three men once, there were about 90 people who just watched. People were urinating and showering while I was being beaten, annoyed that they had to step around me. If only one person had come to my aid...that night my bowels emptied, I couldn't swallow anything. I ruminated the incident over and over again. I can still see the faces of everyone who simply watched. Some looked away, ashamed. A few people lightly touched my shoulder when the attackers weren't looking. Nobody helped though.

I pray you never know what "alone" feels like. God forbid you do. But it hurts more than the act that was happening to make you realize you were alone. 

As LGBT people it is our duty as fellow people to intervene. To stand up for someone while bigotry, hatred, intolerance, violence, injustices, and inequalities are happening. Its NOT OK to not say anything. It IS your problem, its all of our problems.

If transgender people can't use the bathroom or serve in the military, gay people can't buy flowers or get married, can't live in certain cities or suburbs, live normal lives...its OUR problem. Because we can stop it. 

When someone is being called a faggot, or being bullied, or spit on, or beat...its your responsibility to do something to stop it, to prevent it, to make sure everyone knows that they are NOT alone. 

Keep your "are you ok's" and your pat on the backs, your "I'll pray for you's" and "God will repay's". You can keep your condolences and your "I'm sorry that happened." A problem for one should be a problem for all. It is for me, I won't let anyone feel as alone as I did Friday, January 27th, 2017 at 9:05 p.m.

I will never forget that isolation, nor will I EVER allow it to happen again to anyone within my sight, ever. Neither should you.

With Love

Thursday, November 16, 2017

The Russian LGBT Community: How Can The World Help You?

As an American, in America, I know that LGBT rights are far more tolerated here than they are in Russia, or in many parts of the Middle East. Even as someone who is imprisoned, I still have more civil rights and freedoms than someone LGBT in Russia. At least in prison, we are actually recognized as people that exist. 

Its not all roses here in America though, we have our own civil rights battle happening. Its just that we are further along than other countries, like Russia.

I want to know what to do that will help. I mean, realistically, what's possible? As an average person with zero political clout how can we help? Would letters help, letters to individuals or up and coming organizations? Are there organizations? 

I can tell you how some LGBT people express themselves in situations where they are not tolerated. In prisons around America the staff may recognize that LGBT exist, but if we are in any kind of danger we are put into the hole. We are punished severely for such things. Protection from predators comes at hefty psychological prices. So, many LGBT stay closeted and hidden so that nobody knows. Its actually safer for many of us that way.

We do things like write letters to foreign newsletters. There is one out of Canada called Ultra-Violet that I like to write. Gives us a voice. We paint our toenails. Because nobody can see them but us. We write poetry and draw. We laugh with one another when we can, cry when we must, stand up when its necessary. 

None of that protects from everything, In fact, its more or less just helping us cope. I run into people who hate me vehemently, openly, and ruthlessly. I am forced to live in the same unit with them and if I say anything at all I am the one who goes to solitary confinement, for my protection. So, instead, while its happening I think about painting my toenails, what colors I can use, what designs I can create. 

They can say what they want, but I am only thinking about the pretty pink I have on, that they can't see. It helps me, I don't know why, but it does. 

If there is something we as people can do to help those around the world gain acceptance from their communities and government, please tell me so I can put it out there. Write me at:

Jeff Utnage 823469 D-610-1
Monroe Correction Center-Twin Rivers Unit
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA. 98272

Will respond to everyone!

With Love

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

The Normalization Of Homosexuality

Homosexuals in the 18th, 19th, and early 20th century were underground. Quiet and hidden people that usually, not always, lived dualistic lifestyles. 

Now we are in the 21st century and thanks to the many activists, martyrs, advocates, rioters, protesters, marchers, demonstrators, teachers, free spirits, forward thinkers, and upholders of justice we are being normalized in the eyes of America. Our lifestyle (boy I really hate that word and its coming out like smoke in my eyes) is one that people are coming to terms with. We aren't unique though, lots of other people are being normalized in America:
-Gender Nonconforming
...and anyone else who isn't Christian, white, and male.

The fact that people, all of us, have to normalize anyone is indicative of our own superiority complex. The thinking derives from "I am normal, everyone not like me is abnormal." 

Who are we to dictate what's normal? Who's land belongs to whom? Did we create the dust or trees or sky or air or a single atom? We are guests of the land and neither own nor have birth rights to that which we cannot create ourselves.

So while I am "normalized" and many view this as a win in the right direction, its sad that we were thought of as abnormal in the first place. 

This is why I no longer strive to be straight or strictly masculine. Neither of which is normal in my world. I am the normal one, others are abnormal. 

With Love
Be proud of your normal


Monday, November 13, 2017

Why Every Person Should Rethink Racism, Oppression, and Poverty

When white America thinks about being racist they are sure they're not. Racism is, to many, a verbal or obvious dislike for a race most of the time. We have a terrible habit of thinking racist thoughts and then bathing in our ability to keep them silent, truly believing that racism isn't an issue still.

Along with racism is oppression. One is certainly bedfellows with the other. When we don't like something we drive it away. We centralize the thing we dislike son we can avoid the area and visit when we wish, if ever. Mainly, we oppress to maintain supremacy. Even if were not doing this actively, our passivity and silence is enough said. Then we fill our schools and workplaces with people that we don't think negative thoughts about or are in someway unconformable with. Even if its just our guilt. Oppression is the result.

Poverty. When we think negative thoughts about a group of people silently, attempt to corral them in centralized locations, passively and sometimes obviously block access to resources in the name of "we eat first" so to speak. When a class of people are treated like this for hundreds of years (I'm not even scratching the surface of our roles in passive racism, oppression, and poverty) they develop righteous mistrust but even sadder is they expect it. Not only do they feel ostracized (because they are) but they must teach their children how to not be hurt by it. How many white moms out there have had to teach their children how to cope with racism? How about oppression? Think about that for a minute. Persons of color talk about this around their dinner table and teach their children from birth of what to expect. 

Everyone has a role to perform in this. First, just because your passive and silent doesn't mean your conscious should be clear. Or that your off the hook.
Second, just because your not a person of color doesn't mean you should remain silent. Hold your peers accountable and name the actions. Let's hold ourselves accountable as well. 
Third, if it seems like your not wanted in an organization or movement, or that they are against you and don't want or need your help, rethink why that might be. Sometimes personal accountability and holding our peer network accountable is all we can do. Other times were simply being vetted for motives. Are you wanting to help so that you can show off your degree, credentials, humanitarianism? Those are the absolute wrong reasons. And still selfish, still oppressive. Sometimes our role is invisible, sometimes its doing it only for the sake of doing it.

Lastly, rethink your thoughts! Racism was taught to you. You overcome it by adding information that contradicts previous information. In other words, GO MEET PEOPLE! Its OK to talk to everyone on the elevator, have dinner with other families only for the sake of doing it. Go to rallies and social justice websites to read about what's going on. 

Passivity is agreement.

With Love

Friday, November 10, 2017

What Can One Person Do To Change The World?

Do you want to make a difference in the world? Not on a small scale like recycling and saving water (which are extremely important to do!) but make a real impact. First, you have to believe its possible.

Second, look for examples of one person changing the world:
1) George Washington Carver
2) Gandhi
3) Elon Musk
4) Ru Paul

Third, find something your passionate about. It doesn't matter what it is. Water conservation, violence reduction, domestic abuse, ending gentrification. Be about that, commit entirely to it.

You don't have to know precisely what to do. But know you are about it. You will naturally attract those of the same mind set. When you do, work together. Start building the framework of your idea and allow others to help, give input.

Lastly, most importantly, be open to change.

With Love

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Make Your Community Beautiful

Beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder. However, in this case beauty means cohesive, safe, the opposite of dilapidated. 

We have options in helping people or walking by. Sharing our resources or not. Giving our time or not. 

We must end the thoughts that helping someone else means the person helped has used you in a negative context. Of course they used you! They used your help, your resource, your time. But how else were they suppose to get help? In the same thought, employees use their bosses to get money and employers use their employees to get labor. 

Wherever I go when I get out I am going to share my time, my resources, my skills to build my community. I'm going to enhance instead of ignore, I'm going to stop when most walk by. Then, because I am a leader, a real man, because I am able to motivate I am going to enlist the help of my peers. Together were going to build property values, fix cars, mentor those we can to be successful. That way, when my family needs help, I'll have an army to call on. 

You can do this to. I know for people of color you are over policed, life is difficult in your neighborhoods. This must seems like pipe dreams to you. Brothers and sisters, I am listening and I am learning. Know this, in me you have an ally and a friend and no longer will you fight in solitude. Your community means something to me, I'm only one person but know person can change the world and I intend to.

With Love

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Love: A Definition And Thought

In order to love someone or something, must you have a physical attraction? I must say no. What about those that are blind? Because they cannot see can they not love? Certainly not! Of course they love, they love without sight, which may even increase their capacity to love, arguably.

What about loving my community? I love the LGBT community with all my heart. Even the ones I don't know or I know that don't care for me. I still love them and would do extraordinary things for them that I would not do for most. 

Then, is ones love directly correlated to what one would do? Perhaps. I would not kill, rob, or victimize anyone or anything for those whom I love. Because I have limits to what I would do, then is my love for them inferior? I think not. I would however die for them, I would give them everything I own, I would and have sacrificed my own stabilizers for their stability. Is my love still inferior, if ever at all?

I don't believe love should be entirely segmented. Maybe you love something less than some other "thing" or person. But it is still the same love, just a different measure. So then, I love the same just in different amounts. 

Love is a subject that should be defined by every living, capable being. You, we, should contemplate what love means to us individually. We should have a definition and then understand this, your definition will change with experience and time. It doesn't mean you were wrong, or stupid, you have only reconsidered a subject that is meant to be reconsidered often. 

Love, its what's desired in nearly everyone, but perhaps the least contemplated. Therefore, we desire what we do not understand, comprehend, or have a specific definition for. 

Guess what, that's OK too. At least we desire what is intrinsically and inherently good. 

With Love, literally,

Friday, November 3, 2017

Happy, Even When Your Not: Let's Use A Little Neuroscience!

I am obsessed with neuroscience. I have studied it as much as books allow and use it often for self change.

The saying "fake it til you make it" actually has some scientific merit. When life is going down and you don't know how to handle it freaking out doesn't help, at all. Instead, try being happy, even when you are definitely not. How is that possible Jeff? Well, I wasn't sure myself until I read a book "Flirting 101" by Michelle Lia Lewis and Andrew Bryant. They said that to get your best smile to think about a special friend coming to see you for the first time in a long time, how would you react to them as they were walking toward you? 

For me, it was my first real boy crush. His name was John. We were best friends. If I seen that 5' 11", ruddy man walking towards me I'd probably lose my friggin cookies folks. When I think about him I just smile.

Neurologically, when you smile there is an actual chemical reaction that engages your brain to begin sending signals to your body to adjust your hormone levels. This is important because it is your hormone levels that are largely responsible for emotions. So, think about someone amazing and smile sweetie. 

With Love

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Excluding Others From The Narrative Of Change

As people who are marginalized to some degree or another we have this tendency to group up, gripe about the injustices of oppression and then form some group to combat it. Then strangely, when outsiders come in to learn about what the fuss is about the marginalized and oppressed get angry that they can't understand because they themselves are not marginalized and oppressed.

By excluding others from our narrative and missing opportunities to educate the very population that oppresses us we further isolate ourselves. We have this problem of being hated and misunderstood, equality seems like a distant dream. So when people try to learn about who and what we are and how they can help without becoming just like us, we should have an answer besides, "you'd never understand." Because the reply is "Your right, I don't"

With Love

Monday, October 30, 2017

How I Discovered Neo-Liberalism and Why It Matters

Neo-liberalism has become a very important topic to me as of late. In fact, it has begun to shape me politically instilling very specific views that for most of my life I could care less about, like unionization and global trade policies.

But reading about neo-liberalism brings about other important terms like gentrification, race, and economic responsibility and how it affects the LGBT community.

The LGBT community has its own dirty problems. So long as your white and gay, living in your pretty little communities everything seems fine, as far as your concerned the battle for equality is minor compared to what it used to be. Every once in a while the LGBT marginalized, like felons or people of color, get graced with the presence of some guilty conscious queen when they see it might give them a little air time in the public space. Whoring out their presence in exchange for notoriety. Disgraceful.

I didn't find neo-liberalism, it found me in a class I'm taking. I have dedicated the past 6 years to lifting up the LGBT community in prison to deal with their inner conflicts despite tumultuous circumstances. You know, be happy, don't let them get you down type of stuff and readership on reflects the disinterest of such things. Now I know why, people being happy and tenacious while getting their rights stripped away is unreasonable. My fault. Up to this point I've been a cheerleader at a chess match, cute and well meaning, but more of a nuisance. 

In the face of gentrification and the upward transfer of wealth and elitist power the marginalized community within the marginalized community is suffering not only at the hands of nationalism and anti-state state policies but now we suffer at the hands of our own.

For the few that try, in the face of those who simply don't care. 

You can expect a difference in my writings. As I get educated and become more aware of what the real underlying problems of our communities are, I get energized and fueled to do something about it.

The LGBT community should be highly concerned with poverty, racism, prisoners, nationalism and economic liberalism. 

Check often for updates to this!

With Love

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Ever wonder what its like in prison, for real?

Being a homosexual or even effeminate in prison is a scary thing. There are three assumptions people make:
1) Prison is Disneyland for gays
2) Your going to get raped daily, or more
3) Prison is nothing to worry about, its all TV hype

None of which are true. 

Prison is not a playland full of hunks to play with. Don't forget that homosexuality is ILLEGAL in prison! You can say your gay all you want, swish your hips and twirl your hair all day. But as soon as you engage in a homosexual act, your going straight to the hole. DOC will not recognize consensual sex, if a sex act is committed then one of you was a victim and one of you was a perpetrator. Period.

Your not going to get raped daily either. While it is possible, and you as a homosexual are at a VERY high risk to be sexually and physically assaulted, the reality is raping other men in prison has become somewhat uncool. Though it does happen, especially in maximum security custody. 

However, don't make the mistake of thinking that prison is nothing to worry about. You should be concerned. Don't forget that while there may be some well chiseled male specimens to feast your raging homosexual eyes on, that same hunk may well slit your throat if his buddies even whisper it. He will do it just to please someone else. 

Rape does happen, in all custody levels. It is true that the lower the custody level (Maximum, Medium, Minimum, Camp, Work Release) the lower your risk for deadly and sexual assaults. Most guys in minimum custody are just trying to go home. Out of 2000 inmates on a minimum security compound only 40 or so are looking to victimize others and this is usually done through drugs. Why they aren't removed is beyond all of us...

Lesson of this: Be diligent, understand that nobody is here for your protection. Not staff and certainly not other inmates.

With Love

Thursday, October 26, 2017

The Roles Of Men, Know Your Place!

If you read this often then you already know my views on masculinity and femininity. I hate the "roles" of each.

I was never entirely comfortable with gender specific playtime roles as a child. Though, I did abide by them when people were looking, I broke them every time someone was not. 

As an adult, who has now accepted my sexuality and has a very opinionated view on gender roles, I express myself however the hell I want. Modern psychology says that my personality type is known as androgynous. Some call it gender fluid or gender nonconformity. While I am okay with the labels, I don't agree that I'm breaking any biological laws of what it means to have a male sexual organ. 

Example, in many Aboriginal tribes the women are the primary hunters, decision makers, the ruff and gruff power houses that bring home the bacon. Men stay at home and paint their faces and primp one another, are very theatrical and display more emotions. The roles are exactly reversed and it comes "natural."

Our "roles" are not from "birth" they are from our parents who got them from theirs and so on. Modern marketing dictates our roles as men and women. Women wear lipstick, men do men stuff like football and now lawns. 

I paint my nails, because it makes me feel pretty. Because I am allowed to feel pretty. I have long hair, because I like it better long and in a ponytail, it fits me better. When I get out of prison I will have a closet full of clothes that match my personality, not anyone else's. 

You see, not being accepted has done something amazing for gave me freedom to be whoever in the hell I want to be. Because I'm gonna be disliked for the rest of my life, so I'm gonna be happy with myself. 

In all this there is a golden lining for the LGBT community. I am only following what has already been done by our brave predecessors. I thank them for it. You should too.

If you hate it when your husband puts a viking helmet on, grabs his shotgun and a six-pack of beer while he mows the lawn with a flame painted riding lawn mower, just know this, that's not born into him...he's just being a dipshit.

With Love