Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Failure Is Not Tragedy, Inaction, That's Tragedy: This Queer Won't Give Up

Ever have one of those days? Wake up late, bloated, slip on your diet, then some more? Check the scale later that night to reassure yourself you haven't gotten that complacent just to find out that you have? Maybe top it off with some even lower self esteem to go with when you took a shower and seen your belly? 

Then you remember after all that, that you have this goal to help people better themselves. But how can you help them if you can't even manage your weight?

Ever have one of those days? 

I used to just say "forget it, may as well finish strong, where's the frosting and Hershey's Syrup, were gonna get weird with a banana and some malt liquor" Then wake up and start it all over again. 

Realizing we are weak is our greatest strength. I have self-esteem issues and an eating disorder. My self-image is dependent on my weight. But even as I sit here wiping tears from my cheeks over gaining 15 lbs, I just got back from running 3 miles in 24 minutes and spent another 20 doing push-ups and 100 meter sprints. I didn't lose 15 lbs in 45 min, but I didn't eat 3000 calories in defeat either. I took action.

I have lost over 100 lbs and I will get back to where I am happy again, a cool 175 or below. 

Even though we may feel as if we have failed, its seasonal and not permanent. It only lasts as long as we let it. I may not have every aspect of life figured out, but I know one thing for sure, my only failure in life will be failing to take action. That is not a mistake I will let happen again. I am worth my effort.

My family is worth the effort, my friends are worth the effort and the LGBT community is worth the effort. Its not about weight, its about going onward even when we are our greatest enemy.

As I said, our greatest strength is recognizing our weaknesses and moving on anyway.

With Love
Jeff Utnage

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