Friday, September 2, 2016

Romeo & Juliet: Why I Adore and Loathe Them, Too Bad They're Not Romeo & Julio

The theme for me of this classic tale is love. The love that knows no boundaries. They were destined by fate before the world began to be in love with the other. We are all familiar with it.

I love this type of story and ever since ole Leo did the part of Romeo in the 90's I have been ruined for love ever since. My idea of a perfect man is one who stands in the rain ready to battle a whole group of...somethings and he screams a guttural battle cry that let's all of those...somethings that he is to be feared. For today he defends my honor viciously and gives me nothing but tender, intense love that I feel in my blood stream...I know...I'm a weirdo.

But that's why I loathe the story as well. Because it presents a reality that I can relate to all to well. The forbidden love of gay men. Your soul mate could be right next to you and much of the world tells you its wrong. Perhaps a few here and there tell you to go after it, but the majority is against it. Like Romeo and his fair Juliet. Where I'm at is much the same. Only in prison relationships amid offenders is strictly prohibited, making it illegal to practise homosexuality. Its now, though reluctantly, allowable for you to profess to be gay or trans but you are not allowed to practise it, at all. 

A gay man in a males prison is just like being Juliet in a world full of Romeo's. I get along fine, but that's because I have strict standards I set for myself sexually. I don't like abstinence, but I demand it of myself as a way to constantly remind myself that I must never allow my emotions to rule my actions. So I figure if I can rule my sex drive for my prison sentence of 126 months among 1900 potential suitors day and night who try to break the "Sassy Ice Queens" code of chastity, then I've got better self control then when I fell. But that's just me. Plus I know that one wrong move on my part and everything I've worked for that brings the LGBT community in prison will be torn apart. This I cannot accept. 

So I wait for my Romeo to come from the free world. My own version of Leo, made just for me. I get his tender side, his love...then again, who knows.

With Love
Jeff Utnage

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