Thursday, June 9, 2016

6-9-2016
Dealing With Fierce Opposition: We Will Do It Together
Something that many prisoners around the world have in common with the LGBTQ community is feeling someone else's hatred. In prison there are all types of crimes. The guys who have committed any type of sex offense or killed a child are ostracized. In some cases they are injured or killed. The reason for this is similar to why certain groups protest homosexuality.
It makes them feel better about themselves. They are ashamed of what they have done or feel inside and so long as they hate you or me they aren't looking inward. They think they don't look as bad when standing next to us. 
When you march at pride parades and things of the sort these people come out with signs and bibles. They shout obscenities and get their children involved as well, so they can teach them "morality". They scream publically and tell us all were going to die and burn in hell and that God hates us. Likewise for prison. Its the same mentality but a different face and enemy.
The guy who robbed and shot his grandma is in prison for manslaughter and this guy goes around beating up the guy who slept with the babysitter. Neither one is justified. But since the murderer is louder and more hate filled more people fear him. So he gets better access to the weight system, making him even bigger and more intimidating. Giving him more liberality to harass those he deems beneath him. 
I was walking to the gym recently and there was one of those guys screaming in front of a bunch of officers ( which makes him a dry snitch) about how all sex offenders are b*****s. This word is of course a challenge to fight in prison. So what he did was provoke a fight in front of five officers as loud as possible. There are many things wrong with this situation. Not unlike the protester's at Pride. This guy obviously has something to hide, like the protesters. The officers in this case did nothing to silence him. They just let him be verbally assaltive. Now he feels justified. Because even the cops turned the other cheek in fear of confrontation. However, if anyone did accept his challenge then they get punished. So the option was to ignore him. As if he was talking to nobody. Much like the protesters at any parade or march. Wasting their time.
I want to bring this up to let you know that opposition and hatred is rampant. When I go through this kind of assaultive behavior it makes me feel isolated and alone. But I am not. I have friends and family. Even if my family is the one standing right beside me at the moment our only link is this trial. 
Know that when you experience hate or get made fun of or someone does worse. You are not alone. You are not helpless you are not isolated. It feels like that for a minute, but dears I promise it gets better, easier to deal with. You get prettier and prettier every time it happens. 
Like some precious stones sometimes the only way to bring out the true beauty of them is through a furnace. You have to heat them up, a lot to get their true beauty to shine. it hurts at first, but over time you emerge precious. 
So when you are hurt by someone else, go ahead and feel the emotion, for a few minutes. But, limit it to whatever time seems right, say to yourself "OK hurt, I feel you. So I am going to grieve for thirty minutes, do what you must. But in thirty one minutes I have to move on". You can always come back to it if necessary. 
You have a family, you have people who care. I care. Those who care about me care about you. See, your already building a network! 
If you need to vent, to reach out to someone I will listen. I will respond to you without judgement. Whatever your going through I will be your friend through it, no matter what.
My address is in my profile, but just in case here is my most recent:
Jeff Utnage 823469
H4-B-46-U
Stafford Creek Correction Center
191 Constantine Way
Aberdeen, WA. 98520

With Love
Jeff Utnage 

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