Friday, March 4, 2016

3-2-2016

Little Time Left:

Here is another month in prison. As my parole date draws nearer (2021) I feel like my tie is running out to make lifetime changes. This first five years has blown by so fast. There is so much that I am missing that I don't even know what outside life is like anymore. My only real connection to the streets is the television. So I am limited to that with shows like The Prancing Elites and CNN. Both of which I love. 
Since I am unable to connect I am thankful that I don't have too many distractions to prevent me from focusing on cognitive treatment for me. In helping myself, my confidence has gone up in my ability to be a new man, or to simply unbury the man that was hidden. People take notice of that. In prison there is some real divisions that take place.
Inmates declared a heirarchy long ago that is still in place today. There are segregated groupings and amid those segregated groupings charges become the predominant factor in determining who is acceptable and who is not. Favoring goes to those without sex offenses typically and those who have them and are highly acceptable are hiding their charges.
But I want to make something clear. Those are being washed away somewhat with me personally. I don't know exactly why, I mean if you ask me why I get along with many people in prison the answer is I am highly favored by the Most High God, Jesus. He makes my way. But I think that it's because I have decided to look past my own past. The rest of the world may define me by my mistakes but I won't allow the world to pigeon hole me like that. I have a future, a future that doesn't include these white latex-painted walls and dingy surroundings. I have a future in activism and pride in my culture, which is the LGBTQ community. I didn't choose this, I have found the suffering of the gay community unaccceptable and I won't stand by as it happens anymore. Gay Lives Matter and that's that.
A teacher of mine in here once read what I wanted to do in prison in one of my workbooks and at the end of the class he wrote next to my statement "There is no equality until there is all equality" I have never forgotten that statement and I never will. It was profoundly on time. I will adhere to that mindset that I am not going to sit by idly and watch people who are equal too be treated as second class citizens. I won't act that way and neither should you.
It's unacceptable to refuse service to gay couples, there is no religious backing for that. God = Love, period. If you proclaim to be a Christian and practice inequality than I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but your pastor is preaching you hatred and that goes against our fundemental values as followers of Christ. I don't care what you got going on in that pew. That's for another time, and best believe expound at a later time.
I am sorry that I have to do this in such short periods but I am limited to 20 minutes and 100 lines at a time. So with that, I must draw to a close herre for the day. I have a busy day ahead of me and I won't be able to type out another posting until tonight or tomorrow. Have a great day and stay a loving community, not practicing what you see but what you know to be right!

With Love

Jeff Utnage

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