Thursday, January 21, 2016

Unknowing Mentors:

Have you ever met someone and found out later that you were their mentor? I am sure you have seen someone else mimic another person at some point in your life. Maybe with boss or another co-worker. There is always that one person who has enough influence on others that people begin to take on their qualities and mannerisms.
This is just a reminder to everyone that people mimic us. You are going to run into people that have no one to look up to and they are going to pick you whether you like it or not. You will not have a choice in the matter, you will be volunteered to be a mentor and someone else's well being will be at stake. You have some options, but the only real option here is to help. You don't have to be the "put your arm around the shoulder and walk them into bliss" character. But, you do have to use that opportunity to do some self-reflection and find out what it is that they are trying to figure out. Then here is a shocker, help. You can do this so easily and simply.
A technique I use in here to empower and embolden the men around me is to let them know their worth. I do this by asking them this "what do you think your worth?" they will answer things like "what do you mean" or "which angle are you coming from, do you mean financially or emotionally?" I then tell them "I want to hear how you interpret that question, whatever you think you should answer that question with is what I want to hear."
What this does is let's me know what they think worth is. Does it mean "self worth" or "monetary worth". Really the answer can't be wrong, but it gets them thinking and gives you an opportunity to segway into self-identity. Does their identity rest on what they have or what they feel? If it's in what they have, their personal belongings then you can help them achieve their financial goals by empowering them.
As mentors and people who just care we lose track that we are not their answer. We are not their key to life. They are, the are the only ones who can help themselves. Nothing we can tell them or give them will solve all their problems. They have to find it within and they must be the ones to find it.
Those of you who have mentors listen up. Your mentor does not hold the keys or the answers to all your life's problems. You do. No one else does but you. It does help to have someone with qualities you want be there to talk to. The way they respond to things is how you want to respond to them, and that's valuable information. But you must interpret that information on you own. After all, they can't catalog that intel in your brain, or interpret either, only you can. No one see's the world through your eyes but you. That's what makes you amazingly...you.

Everyone know this, if you know nothing else, know this: You are not stuck where you are. You are not defined by your past. You have an amazing ability to change your situation and characteristics right here and right now. You can be a new person starting right this very second, and guess what, now your someone new. You did that, no one else. Now use that knowledge and change your circumstances.

With Love

Jeff Utnage

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