Saturday, January 16, 2016

Being Cool With Right Now:

"I won't set myself on fire to keep someone else warm". I love that quote, I have no idea who said it first, so I won't even try. But I read that the other day and just fell head over heels in love with it. It speaks so much about where you are in life. Where you are in your own self-acceptance and how your path is going.
Admittedly I get caught up in all the drama of what others think and say about me. When someone tells me that I am being thought of negatively (whether it's true or not) I always get this little tinge of fear. What if that's true, what if someone really doesn't like me?
I deal with this when it comes to the Christian church all the time. Many men in the ministry want me to be this cowed down repentant sorrowful person until I am "cured". For a while I went ahead and tried to appease them, then when I knew in my heart that it was never going to happen, I simply remained quiet about it. As time went on I began to have an understanding about what the Word was saying about me and I no longer wanted to keep quiet. I wanted to stand there in front of a whole congregation and challenge their right to hate me. Excuse me....their religious beliefs.
No reason to beat around the bush as far as I am concerned, a horse is a horse and cow a cow. When you dislike someone because of their genetic make-up, like the color of their skin or their sexual disposition, that's called bigotry, call it whatever you want. Those who feel its wrath no exactly what it is.
The church has been a sore spot for me for years now. As it has been for many members of the LGBTQ community. I am huge fan of Jesus, but I sometimes loathe His children, my brothers. It seems like they travel in bands across time and pick and choose a particular thing to hate and rid the world of. The truth is many Christian preachers are very charismatic and persuasive, like politicians and Satan. I guess that's just the reality of life.
Which brings me to my beloved quote "I am not going to set myself on fire to keep someone else warm." That, my friends, warms me up. It's like drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream on a cold, snowy day in the midwest on a farm in the middle of nowhere...

Be fearless, believe in the Almighty and He will keep you, despite His church. We don't have to answer to them, all we have to do is love each other and God. He understands the persecution we go through and doesn't like it Himself, hell...they through Him on a cross and put nails in His hands before they let Him die. Lovely bunch our brothers, but know this: if they did it to Him, they will do it to us.

Take comfort in those around you who do love you, who care. They may be few, but they are mighty.

Love and care

Jeff Utnage 823469
H3-A-20-U
Stafford Creek Correction Center
191 Constantine Way
Aberdeen, WA 98520

or jpay.com jeff utnage 823469 Utnage

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